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The MLB Fan Cave Dwellers Are Having Too Much Fun

(Warning: Some images may have been digitally altered…)

MLB FAN CAVE PARTY!

Yes, Marcus and Danny are playing catch with a baby pig wearing rain boots. What of it?

- Jeremy Dorn (@Jamblinman)

Follow @3u3d on Twitter and like Three Up, Three Down on Facebook for all your 2013 MLB news!

Umpire Suspended for the Botched Call Nobody Cares About

No, not that botched call. It seems no matter how poorly Angel Hernandez umpires a game, he will forever go unpunished (unless the court of public opinion counts, which sentenced him to life without parole about 15 years ago).

On the other hand, according to MLB’s official Twitter, Fieldin Culbreth was fined and suspended two games for screwing up a rule in yesterday’s Angels-Astros game:

Culbreth–and his whole crew–definitely made the wrong call in that game, but it didn’t end up costing the Angels, who came back to win the game anyway. Hernandez, on the other hand, blew a home run call that would have tied the game in the ninth inning for the A’s in Cleveland earlier this week.

But, wait. He even blew the call again after consulting instant reply, deciding there wasn’t enough evidence to overturn the initial ruling. You can see that play here:

Not enough evidence, huh? Did Hernandez stop to think maybe that was enough evidence? That just maybe, he is one of the worst judges of “evidence” the world has ever seen? At least he had the gall to admit his mistake to reporters after the game. Oh, wait.

Man, that guy really sucks. Why is he still employed again?

- Jeremy Dorn (@Jamblinman)

Follow @3u3d on Twitter and like Three Up, Three Down on Facebook for all your 2013 MLB news!

Money Reigns Supreme…Even on Mother’s Day

According to CSNBaltimore.com Orioles insider Rich Dubroff, MLB is not allowing Nick Markakis and Trevor Plouffe to use specialized bats with pink labels this Sunday to celebrate Mother’s Day and symbolize the fight against cancer. Check out the tweet here:

Before we get all up in arms and send a screaming, pitchfork-wielding mob to the Commissioner’s office, there may be a reason that the idea was rejected:

I’m not one to go back on my word or break off a contract, but this seems to fall under the category of “special exemption,” especially given that both players’ mothers have survived cancer. To me, it looks like a very cool, coordinated effort by Markakis and Plouffe to make MLB Mother’s Day even more unique and intimate.

The money and the media attention should focus on Louisville Slugger per the terms of the agreement, but it would be very nice to see a one-time exception made for Markakis and Plouffe. Can those two not at least use the same bats as other players and write their own message on to the wood?

As politically correct as the rules are, this sucks. Thoughts?

- Jeremy Dorn (@Jamblinman)

Follow @3u3d on Twitter and like Three Up, Three Down on Facebook for all your 2013 MLB news!

All Hail the Kiss Cam Breakup!

UPDATE: I’ve been duped! This was all set up by the team, and both parties actually work for the Fresno Grizzlies. That being said, it is still funny, and you should still never kiss a Giants fan. Enjoy!

Thanks to Reddit, where I first saw the hilarious kiss cam failure video embedded below, I will make sure to never be on the phone when I’m at a game with my girlfriend during that part of the game. Although, it stands to reason that nobody should ever want to kiss a Giants fan anyway. They have diseases. Go Dodgers.

Anyway, check out this video and enjoy way-too-busy guy getting dumped at a minor league game for failing not once, not twice, but three times to give his girl a smooch during the kiss cam:

I love that the whole crowd gets involved and the mascot applauds the girl for soaking the boyfriend ex-boyfriend with her drink afterwards. As if we needed any more reason to feel awkward when the kiss cam pops up, we now have this jerk to thank for shining an even brighter spotlight on us if the time comes.

Though he did set the bar insanely low. That’s a plus. And nevermind-I’m-bailing guy from Houston must feel great getting off the hook!

- Jeremy Dorn (@Jamblinman)

Follow @3u3d on Twitter and like Three Up, Three Down on Facebook for all your 2013 MLB news!

Did Mickey Mantle Cork His Bat?

deadspin mantle batThanks to the good people over at Deadspin.com, we may have shed some light on the unsavory tactics of one of baseball’s greatest heroes. X-Rays from the same expert who found cork in a game-used Pete Rose bat a few years ago confirmed that there was cork in a Mantle bat that was going up for auction.

With all the PED allegations swirling around modern superstars like Ryan Braun and Robinson Cano, spitball accusations flung at the AL’s best pitcher, and the general degradation of the sport’s reputation over the last 15 years of steroid use, this is a frustrating, hard-to-ignore development.

We may brush this aside because it’s from half a century ago, and we couldn’t possibly tarnish the great Yankee’s legacy, but it really shouldn’t be taken lightly.

Rose is banned from baseball forever for betting on the game, Mark McGwire, Barry Bonds, Sammy Sosa and more are pseudo-banned from Cooperstown for their involvement (allegedly, in many cases…but let’s be real) with PED’s in the late 90′s and early 2000′s, and multiple other players have been blacklisted by MLB for other significant scandals.

I’m not calling for action against the deceased Mantle or any alteration to his Hall of Fame plaque, but we must wonder at what point we accept all forms of cheating as part of the sport, and at which point we go 100 percent intolerant of it.

However, according to a Redditor who commented on this post on r/baseball and quoted an episode of Mythbusters, corking a bat may not actually benefit a hitter in any way. In fact, it might do just the opposite:

According to the MythBusters August 8, 2007 baseball special, the ball hit by a corked bat travels at only half the speed of a ball hit by an unmodified bat, causing it to go a shorter distance. The cork inside the bat actually absorbs the kinetic energy like a sponge, hindering the batter’s performance. In addition, because corked bats are lighter, they have less momentum to transfer to the ball, bringing them to the conclusion that the use of a corked bat had fewer benefits over a regular bat. The show also notes that while filling a bat with cork makes it lighter, there is nothing in the rule book that prevents a player from simply using a lighter, uncorked bat.[5] However, contrary to the last note in the episode, the reason players “cork” a bat is to keep it as long as a heavier bat, but make it lighter; which cannot be done without some kind of non-wood filler in the sweet spot of the bat.

Does that mean it’s forgivable? Not necessarily. But it certainly seems to be one of the most tame forms of cheating.

Share your thoughts below by voting in the poll or posting a comment.

- Jeremy Dorn (@Jamblinman)

Follow @3u3d on Twitter and like Three Up, Three Down on Facebook for all your 2013 MLB news!

Colorado Rockies Sign Roy Oswalt

HELLO! Who else forgot Oswalt was still a functioning member of the MLB society? This move–signing the veteran to a minor league deal and sending him to extended spring training–came out of nowhere. Here’s the tweet that made it official, as far as we know:

So what does this mean for the Rockies and the rest of the NL West? Not much…yet.

Our own Brian Boynton can attest to Oswalt’s crapiness in his last stint, which was with the Texas Rangers in 2012. Oswalt posted a 5.80 ERA in that time, but still had pretty good splits otherwise.

For a team that has relied on its destructive offense and had a surprisingly competent rotation thus far, the Rockies may have scored with this move. Chances are their current, inexperienced rotation will be looking a lot more like the bruised and battered 2012 unit (last in the NL in team ERA, by a mile) after a couple more rounds.

So when Oswalt is ready, if he can pitch even half as well as he used to before going to Texas, he could conceivably be their number two starter. And if one or two of the young guns continues to produce this year, the Rockies are no longer a laughing stock; rather, a team to be reckoned with.

Luckily for Oswalt, pitching expectations in Colorado are generally low, so he won’t be as subjected to scrutiny as he was in Texas. And while I highly doubt we will see a Clemens or Pettitte-esque return for Oswalt, you can never have enough pitching.

Then again, Oswalt could be worse than the starter the Rockies already passed on once. And being worse than Aaron Harang is usually a sign to hang up the cleats for good.

What do you think about the move? Tweet us @3u3d to discuss!

- Jeremy Dorn (@Jamblinman)

Follow @3u3d on Twitter and like Three Up, Three Down on Facebook for all your 2013 MLB news!

This Blog Will Really Quack You Up

Forgive my giggles. But when I see a gigantic, inflatable rubber ducky sitting in a harbor in Hong Kong, I laugh uncontrollably. There is something innocent, hilarious and charming about a rubber ducky of any size, but this Godzilla-sized specimen is special.

Dutch artist Florentijn Hofman displays his creation in major waterfronts in major cities in order to “revolutionize the way people view public spaces.” For my money, the giant rubber ducky does a great job of accomplishing that goal.

And while I wanted to be selfish and capture it for my backyard, I will share this with the rest of the baseball-loving world: My personal renderings of the three best MLB locations for Mr. Quackenbush (I know, I know…I shouldn’t name him, I’ll become attached.)

1. McCovey Cove at AT&T Park in San Francisco

Dodger Ducky in SF

Those kayakers out there are going to have some stiff competition for any splash hits. Unfortunately, the Giants were still able to charge $50 a pop for floating room only tickets. And yes, I had to add that little touch on top…

2. PNC Park in Pittsburgh

DUCKY AT PNC

That bridge sure is pretty, especially when half of it is obstructed by our giant rubber ducky floating on the Allegheny River behind the right-centerfield bleachers. Chances are, the duck is going to have a field day snatching popcorn from fans in the back row.

3. Kauffman Stadium Fountains in Kansas City

GIANT DUCKY AT KAUFMAN

 

I can’t think of a better place to chill in the summer heat and watch a game than in a constant stream of nice, cool water. The Royals are finally relevant, so the ducky would have something to quack for! Heads up when the water cannons go off, though.

Do you think the artist, again of Dutch origin, would adorn the duck with a #Honkbal cap if it was sitting outside a MLB stadium? I really, really hope so. Because this whole #DuckyInfiltratesMLB thing must happen, and happen soon!

Tweet us @3u3d with your suggestions of other MLB-related places for the ducky to squat. Make sure to hashtag #DuckyInfiltratesMLB and we will retweet the best ones! There are plenty of water features among MLB stadiums to choose from, but don’t limit your selections to that. And are they all going to be in right-centerfield??

- Jeremy Dorn (@Jamblinman)

Follow @3u3d on Twitter and like Three Up, Three Down on Facebook for all your 2013 MLB news!

 

Another Entry for Best Baseball Picture of the Year!

A couple weeks ago, we presented you with an early favorite for MLB picture of the year. And even though the one we are presenting this time around isn’t an awesome action shot worthy of a segment on Time Warp, it’s a whole new level of absurdity.

The only baseball-related activity in this picture, besides it taking place at Dodger Stadium, is that Tommy Lasorda is involved. It hails from Hyun-Jin Ryu’s last start for the Dodgers (he struck out 12 Rockies that night…coincidence?) at which Korean sensation “Psy” showed up for the game and went all Gangnam Style on the big crowd.

Personally, I thought that song was uncool about 398 parodies ago, but I’ve gotta give mad props to the stank face and those hip glasses Psy is rocking. And the fact that Lasorda is the only person not standing–in fact, he looks downright terrified–just reinforces the theory that he is every person’s angry grandfather.

Psy Tommy

The Dodgers took this game against Colorado, the only one they’d win in the three-game series. Maybe Psy is good luck and should return more often!

“Oh, hell no!” – Tommy Lasorda

“Oh, hell yes! Give me more, give me more!” – Guy to Tommy’s right

- Jeremy Dorn (@Jamblinman)

Follow @3u3d on Twitter and like Three Up, Three Down on Facebook for all your 2013 MLB news!

This is the Game That Never Ends

In case you missed it, Brandon Moss just hit his second home run of the game for the A’s tonight and walked off with a 10-8 victory. In the 19th inning. I’m not kidding. Here is the game-winner (embedded video coming soon):

The two teams combined for 18 runs, 31 hits, 597 pitches, and three starting pitchers.

That’s not a typo.

Among the crazier aspects to this game was the A’s original starter Brett Anderson throwing nearly six innings beginning around the 12th. He was scratched with a bum ankle, but ended up pitching almost enough for a quality start by the end.

The A’s lost Coco Crisp, Chris Young and Anderson to injuries before the game ended, and Angels catcher Chris Iannetta, incredibly enough, was behind the dish for every single one of the Angels’ 297 pitches tonight. There has to be some kind of rule that allows a catcher in a game like this to get a stool to squat on. My goodness.

Well, it’s 1:46 a.m. and yours truly needs to get to bed. But here’s a video of Mark Trumbo’s monster home run that traveled an estimated 475 feet…in the second inning. Over six hours ago.

Also, Josh Hamilton was given a sarcastic “Josh Hamilton Appreciation Night” by A’s fans, who did everything in their power to remind him of his error last season that helped Oakland clinch the AL West. He responded by going 0-for-8 in the game.

But the night belonged to Moss, who continues to prove everyone who passed on him wrong as he carries the A’s and shreds Angel pitching (now has four homers in four games vs. Anaheim). He topped everything off with a very short, out of breath, postgame interview in which he pied himself in the face for winning it.

And before I pass out on the keyboard, a special shout out to friend of the podcast @vdemske and her small crew of fans who stuck out the entire damn game tonight. That is true dedication.

Ok, goodnight now.

- Jeremy Dorn (@Jamblinman)

Follow @3u3d on Twitter and like Three Up, Three Down on Facebook for all your 2013 MLB news!

Pick a GIF, Any GIF!

I just happened to notice that a wealth of brilliant GIF’s were produced over the last week or so of baseball. I’d like to take a few minutes of yours to ask: Which one is the best?

Use whichever parameters you see fit–hilarity, overall awesomeness, quality of GIF-making abilities–to judge the best GIF among the five I present below. Then make sure to vote in the poll. Thanks for playing, and keep tuning in for more baseball fun this season:

1. Yu Darvish “throws” all his pitches to Albert Pujols

Yu makes many good pitches

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

2. An ump gets unwanted cup check

umpire nut shot

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

3. Michael Morse hits a no-doubter, pitcher says bad things

Morse homer

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4. A.J. Burnett doesn’t understand baseball

stupid burnett

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

5. John Buck is a mean pie-thrower. Really mean.

buck hates people

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

- Jeremy Dorn (@Jamblinman)

Follow @3u3d on Twitter and like Three Up, Three Down on Facebook for all your 2013 MLB news

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