The MLB Fan Cave Dwellers Are Having Too Much Fun

(Warning: Some images may have been digitally altered…)


Yes, Marcus and Danny are playing catch with a baby pig wearing rain boots. What of it?

– Jeremy Dorn (@Jamblinman)

Follow @3u3d on Twitter and like Three Up, Three Down on Facebook for all your 2013 MLB news!

Episode 43 – The Umps Must Be Crazy

We’re back to discuss the mishaps on and off the field. But mostly just on the field because the umpires can’t make up their mind on how to do their job. A few mix ups got people talking and we didn’t want to miss out on that! We also talk about Mr. Tommy John as if there weren’t enough people needing surgery already. Then with a sprinkle of fantasy sleepers and keepers to make you kick ass at fantasy baseball.

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Twitter: @3U3D
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Yankee Stadium, The House That Lundqvist Built?

Today, the NHL officially announced that Yankee Stadium will become the first stadium to host not one, but TWO hockey games during the 2013-14 season.  The New York Rangers will host both of their cross-bridge rivals as part of the 2014 NHL Stadium Series.

The first game will come Sunday, January 26, 2014 at 12:30 eastern against the New Jersey Devils.  Game two will be Wednesday, January 29th at 7:30 eastern against the New York Islanders.

The Phillies Citizens Bank Park was the last MLB stadium to host an NHL game for the NHL Winter Classic where the New York Rangers beat the Philadelphia Flyers 3-2.

Yankee Stadium isn’t the only ballpark to be featured in the NHL Stadium Series as Dodger Stadium will host the Anaheim Ducks and Los Angeles Kings on January 25th.  Good luck with the potential melting ice!

-Bryan Mapes (@IAmMapes)

Umpire Suspended for the Botched Call Nobody Cares About

No, not that botched call. It seems no matter how poorly Angel Hernandez umpires a game, he will forever go unpunished (unless the court of public opinion counts, which sentenced him to life without parole about 15 years ago).

On the other hand, according to MLB’s official Twitter, Fieldin Culbreth was fined and suspended two games for screwing up a rule in yesterday’s Angels-Astros game:

Culbreth–and his whole crew–definitely made the wrong call in that game, but it didn’t end up costing the Angels, who came back to win the game anyway. Hernandez, on the other hand, blew a home run call that would have tied the game in the ninth inning for the A’s in Cleveland earlier this week.

But, wait. He even blew the call again after consulting instant reply, deciding there wasn’t enough evidence to overturn the initial ruling. You can see that play here:

Not enough evidence, huh? Did Hernandez stop to think maybe that was enough evidence? That just maybe, he is one of the worst judges of “evidence” the world has ever seen? At least he had the gall to admit his mistake to reporters after the game. Oh, wait.

Man, that guy really sucks. Why is he still employed again?

– Jeremy Dorn (@Jamblinman)

Follow @3u3d on Twitter and like Three Up, Three Down on Facebook for all your 2013 MLB news!

Money Reigns Supreme…Even on Mother’s Day

According to Orioles insider Rich Dubroff, MLB is not allowing Nick Markakis and Trevor Plouffe to use specialized bats with pink labels this Sunday to celebrate Mother’s Day and symbolize the fight against cancer. Check out the tweet here:

Before we get all up in arms and send a screaming, pitchfork-wielding mob to the Commissioner’s office, there may be a reason that the idea was rejected:

I’m not one to go back on my word or break off a contract, but this seems to fall under the category of “special exemption,” especially given that both players’ mothers have survived cancer. To me, it looks like a very cool, coordinated effort by Markakis and Plouffe to make MLB Mother’s Day even more unique and intimate.

The money and the media attention should focus on Louisville Slugger per the terms of the agreement, but it would be very nice to see a one-time exception made for Markakis and Plouffe. Can those two not at least use the same bats as other players and write their own message on to the wood?

As politically correct as the rules are, this sucks. Thoughts?

– Jeremy Dorn (@Jamblinman)

Follow @3u3d on Twitter and like Three Up, Three Down on Facebook for all your 2013 MLB news!

All Hail the Kiss Cam Breakup!

UPDATE: I’ve been duped! This was all set up by the team, and both parties actually work for the Fresno Grizzlies. That being said, it is still funny, and you should still never kiss a Giants fan. Enjoy!

Thanks to Reddit, where I first saw the hilarious kiss cam failure video embedded below, I will make sure to never be on the phone when I’m at a game with my girlfriend during that part of the game. Although, it stands to reason that nobody should ever want to kiss a Giants fan anyway. They have diseases. Go Dodgers.

Anyway, check out this video and enjoy way-too-busy guy getting dumped at a minor league game for failing not once, not twice, but three times to give his girl a smooch during the kiss cam:

I love that the whole crowd gets involved and the mascot applauds the girl for soaking the boyfriend ex-boyfriend with her drink afterwards. As if we needed any more reason to feel awkward when the kiss cam pops up, we now have this jerk to thank for shining an even brighter spotlight on us if the time comes.

Though he did set the bar insanely low. That’s a plus. And nevermind-I’m-bailing guy from Houston must feel great getting off the hook!

– Jeremy Dorn (@Jamblinman)

Follow @3u3d on Twitter and like Three Up, Three Down on Facebook for all your 2013 MLB news!

Andrelton Simmons is Ridiculous

In a short time, Andrelton Simmons has become the best defensive shortstop in baseball and maybe even better than that, at least according to former teammate Chipper Jones.


That was after this incredible tag on a pick-off of Reds Shin-Soo Choo.

Seriously, he tagged him between the legs!

This caused me to realize we need a definitive blog with all of Simmons’ defensive exploits so far.

From Tuesday, May 7th’s game against the Reds, including a great barehand play that went off of Eric O’ Flaherty.

It can go off Paul Maholm’s glove, it’s alright, Simmons is there.

He has the best arm in the Majors, he can even show it off from the seat of his pants.

Here he shows off the range going deep into foul territory at PNC Park for an amazing grab.

This play is not as easy as he makes it look on Royals Lorenzo Cain.

No prejudice against great plays even in Spring Training.

My favorite play from the 2013 World Baseball Classic, honkbal!

That’s not the only time he’ll go into center field for a diving catch.

There were numerous plays of Simmons charging a slow roller and getting the out, but getting the speedy Juan Pierre is the most impressive.

And from the same game, the diving stop, up the middle.

Simmons makes this short hop look too easy.

Even when Simba makes a mistake and overruns a ball, he’s just doing it to make the play look that much more spectacular.

The play that really started it all against the Orioles all-star Adam Jones.

He can even turn an amazing double play with Dan Uggla.

It hasn’t even been a full season in the Majors and you can put Andrelton Simmons’ highlight reel against anyone in the league. What’s your favorite play? Let us know in the comments!

-Bryan Mapes (@IAmMapes)

Metallica Night in San Francisco

It was “Metallica Night” at AT&T Park in San Francisco. The band was on hand and even performed “The Star-Spangled Banner” during the pre-game ceremonies.

Even better, the Giants players on the Jumbotron have been “Metallica-ized”.

Screen Shot 2013-05-03 at 11.22.48 PM

Dont’t forget tonight’s starter Barry Zito getting to have a jam session with the metal legends.

Things could get awkward though if “Enter Sandman” is played and Mariano Rivera doesn’t appear.

-Bryan Mapes (@IAmMapes)

Did Mickey Mantle Cork His Bat?

deadspin mantle batThanks to the good people over at, we may have shed some light on the unsavory tactics of one of baseball’s greatest heroes. X-Rays from the same expert who found cork in a game-used Pete Rose bat a few years ago confirmed that there was cork in a Mantle bat that was going up for auction.

With all the PED allegations swirling around modern superstars like Ryan Braun and Robinson Cano, spitball accusations flung at the AL’s best pitcher, and the general degradation of the sport’s reputation over the last 15 years of steroid use, this is a frustrating, hard-to-ignore development.

We may brush this aside because it’s from half a century ago, and we couldn’t possibly tarnish the great Yankee’s legacy, but it really shouldn’t be taken lightly.

Rose is banned from baseball forever for betting on the game, Mark McGwire, Barry Bonds, Sammy Sosa and more are pseudo-banned from Cooperstown for their involvement (allegedly, in many cases…but let’s be real) with PED’s in the late 90’s and early 2000’s, and multiple other players have been blacklisted by MLB for other significant scandals.

I’m not calling for action against the deceased Mantle or any alteration to his Hall of Fame plaque, but we must wonder at what point we accept all forms of cheating as part of the sport, and at which point we go 100 percent intolerant of it.

However, according to a Redditor who commented on this post on r/baseball and quoted an episode of Mythbusters, corking a bat may not actually benefit a hitter in any way. In fact, it might do just the opposite:

According to the MythBusters August 8, 2007 baseball special, the ball hit by a corked bat travels at only half the speed of a ball hit by an unmodified bat, causing it to go a shorter distance. The cork inside the bat actually absorbs the kinetic energy like a sponge, hindering the batter’s performance. In addition, because corked bats are lighter, they have less momentum to transfer to the ball, bringing them to the conclusion that the use of a corked bat had fewer benefits over a regular bat. The show also notes that while filling a bat with cork makes it lighter, there is nothing in the rule book that prevents a player from simply using a lighter, uncorked bat.[5] However, contrary to the last note in the episode, the reason players “cork” a bat is to keep it as long as a heavier bat, but make it lighter; which cannot be done without some kind of non-wood filler in the sweet spot of the bat.

Does that mean it’s forgivable? Not necessarily. But it certainly seems to be one of the most tame forms of cheating.

Share your thoughts below by voting in the poll or posting a comment.

– Jeremy Dorn (@Jamblinman)

Follow @3u3d on Twitter and like Three Up, Three Down on Facebook for all your 2013 MLB news!

Colorado Rockies Sign Roy Oswalt

HELLO! Who else forgot Oswalt was still a functioning member of the MLB society? This move–signing the veteran to a minor league deal and sending him to extended spring training–came out of nowhere. Here’s the tweet that made it official, as far as we know:

So what does this mean for the Rockies and the rest of the NL West? Not much…yet.

Our own Brian Boynton can attest to Oswalt’s crapiness in his last stint, which was with the Texas Rangers in 2012. Oswalt posted a 5.80 ERA in that time, but still had pretty good splits otherwise.

For a team that has relied on its destructive offense and had a surprisingly competent rotation thus far, the Rockies may have scored with this move. Chances are their current, inexperienced rotation will be looking a lot more like the bruised and battered 2012 unit (last in the NL in team ERA, by a mile) after a couple more rounds.

So when Oswalt is ready, if he can pitch even half as well as he used to before going to Texas, he could conceivably be their number two starter. And if one or two of the young guns continues to produce this year, the Rockies are no longer a laughing stock; rather, a team to be reckoned with.

Luckily for Oswalt, pitching expectations in Colorado are generally low, so he won’t be as subjected to scrutiny as he was in Texas. And while I highly doubt we will see a Clemens or Pettitte-esque return for Oswalt, you can never have enough pitching.

Then again, Oswalt could be worse than the starter the Rockies already passed on once. And being worse than Aaron Harang is usually a sign to hang up the cleats for good.

What do you think about the move? Tweet us @3u3d to discuss!

– Jeremy Dorn (@Jamblinman)

Follow @3u3d on Twitter and like Three Up, Three Down on Facebook for all your 2013 MLB news!